Hot v. Cold: The Cultures of the World part 2

So, during my last post, I shared all about the cultures of the world. Specifically, I talked about the difference in what Sarah Lanier (2000) calls hot climate cultures and cold climate cultures. I would suggest you read that blog first and then come back to read this one. But if you would rather just march on, full speed ahead into this blog post, here is a recap.

The cultures of the world can be divided into two groups.

1. Cold Climate Cultures- These areas have a cold season in the year (such as the northern US or northern Europe), are generally task oriented, value efficiency, and punctuality.

2. Hot Climate Cultures- These areas are hot or warm year round (such as most of Latin America, most of Africa, and the middle east), are general relationship oriented, value connection, and spontaneity.

Of course, whenever we talk about categories of people, we are talking about generalizations. There are also people and regions that do not fit neatly into these two big categories... but hey, work with me here. Talking about cultures and how they are different can help us connect better to the people around us and minimize misunderstandings.

In the first blog, I discussed the broad strokes of the differences and then specifically how they view time. Today, I am going to share another major difference. Are you ready for it?

ARE THEY DIRECT OR INDIRECT?

Before I dive into the two categories, let's talk about what directness really means. A direct person speaks in a clear and straightforward way. They don't beat around the bush or worry about someone's feelings they just say or ask whatever they are thinking.

COLD CLIMATE CULTURE

Of course, the cold climate culture lends itself to directness. The goal of the cold climate is efficiency and getting tasks completed. What better way to accomplish this than to just say what you mean and mean what you say. But even within a cold climate, there are levels of directness. Some people are more direct than others. Some people value getting a job done and and their words are just truth. Others want to tone down the truth not to hurt someone else's feelings.

For example, some people might say, "Your breath stinks, you need a mint."

They are not being rude. They are just getting a job done and trying to help you out in the process. You want this job to get done as much as they do, right? After all, if you knew you had stinky breath, you would want to solve the problem.

Some people, no matter how big of a friend they are, would NEVER tell you that your breath stinks. But, as your friend, they also do not want you to be embarrassed in front of others by continuing to have smelly breath. Instead of telling you directly, they might pull out the mints from their purse, put one in their mouths, and say, "Do you want one?" They are providing you with a way to solve the problem without ever acknowledging the problem existed, trying to save you from hurt feelings or embarrassment.

HOT CLIMATE CULTURE

The two scenarios with the mints might happen in the northern US, a very cold climate culture. In the US, we have the distinction between a direct and an indirect person. In hot climate cultures, the indirectness multiplies by ten. Hot climate cultures care about relationships so much that preserving the relationship is more important that saying what they think or even being truthful.

Lanier (2000) offers a great story to help us get the point. Sometimes saying yes to someone, no matter what, is the most polite and correct answer and sometimes saying no is the right answer. She recounts a story of what it is like in an Arab culture compared to her Israeli upbringing.

"The Arab culture, on the other hand, is much more indirect. It's all about friendliness and politeness. If offered a cup of coffee, I say 'No, thank you.'

"The host offers it again, and I decline again with something like: 'No, no, don't bother yourself.' He might offer a third time, and I'd reply, "No, I really don't want any coffee. Believe me.'

"Then my host serves the coffee, and I drink it"(Lanier, 2000, p.8-9)

Although this seems crazy to many of us, this is a reality in a large portion of the world. A couple of stories come to mind when I think about being indirect in a hot culture. When I worked in Africa, I led an after school program. The children were given homework to complete every day. One day, I had asked a student if they did their homework. They told me that they had. Later, I found out that they had not completed it at all. Now, to me, this was a serious offense. Lying to the teacher. I talked with some of the other staff, and they did not understand my concern. It donned on me that the student was telling me what I wanted to hear, not what the truth was. Preserving the relationship was seen as more important than the truth. He was not simply trying to get out of getting in trouble.

You might be incredulous about this. Of course, he was just trying to get out of trouble. But there were even adults that would tell me one thing, even though the opposite was true. For example, I might ask, "How was tutoring today?"

And they might respond, "Tutoring is good."

Then I would ask a specific question like, "Did the students follow the directions well?"

And the response would include how some of the students didn't show up, they didn't get much accomplished because of attitude problems, and two kids got into a tussle.

In my mind, as someone from a cold climate culture, the first statement was a lie. Tutoring clearly did not go well. In this scenario, the truth came out shortly after, but sometimes it took days or weeks to find out something troubling. It felt like the staff or the students were holding out on us. But the reality was, they were trying to preserve the relationship. They would rather connect with you and have a quality relationship than tell you something that could be see as offensive or troubling that could damage the relationship.

CROSS HAIRS:

What is more important, having quality relationships where the individuals are honoring and do not hurt each other or getting things accomplished in an efficient way and establishing trust in relationships through telling the truth? They are both important. It is just a cultural difference which one is more prominent in a persons mind. This issue can cause a lot of conflicts. A hot climate person in a cold climate world can feel offended (by what they see as blunt and hurtful communication), lonely (because they are just being polite by declining), or embarrassed (if they say yes only out of politeness). A cold climate person in a hot climate world can feel frustrated (by the enigma of indirectness), betrayed (by what they consider to be lies), or isolated (by a set of rules they don't understand).

This particular difference is something that can truly cause conflicts and culture clashes. But what can you do?

APPLICATION:

EVERYONE

Whether you ever leave your home country or not, you are probably going to interact with someone from another culture than you. As a cold climate person, a couple of things can help ease these conflicts. First, if you know that you are talking to a hot climate person, building connection first before asking a question is always helpful. They will feel less offended if you ask them about their family, their cat, and then ask if you can borrow their cell phone. Second, try to avoid yes and no questions whenever possible. If you can ask a more open-ended question, you will get a more accurate response. Third, if you have to ask a direct question, especially one that they might feel nervous to answer because it might offend you, ask someone else to ask them. A third party can help them feel more comfortable to tell the truth. Fourth, try not to be offended if you find out someone lied to maintain relationship. Have a conversation with them and talk about your point of view.

TEACHERS

In addition to remembering the four application points with your students and parents, consider teaching about cultures with your students. If there are hot climate culture students in your class, consider educating all students about the differences between the two types of cultures can help minimize a lot culture clashes. Establishing rules in the classroom for what a third party culture might look like, some agreed upon rules about when to focus on kindness and when to focus on truthfulness will help everyone be on the same page. There might still be issues that need resolved, but when the hot climate students are better understood, there is a higher likelihood for a new classroom culture that respects all people and their needs.

Reference

Lanier, S. (2000). Foreign to familiar: A guide to understanding hot- and cold-climate cultures. Hagerstown, MD: McDougal Publishing.