ALL IN: Even into the fire
- Liz Block
- Apr 8, 2019
- 4 min read
I have been thinking about what kinds of things that I could write about in my blog. I have lots of stories in my life: weird experiences, crazy experiences. Which to start with. Ok, I have already written three posts. I am not starting. But you get the point. What is next? What wisdom do I have to share that others could benefit from? What would people want to spend their time reading.
As a missionary, my life seems exotic and cool to others. I have many people express how they wish they could do what I am doing. And then others who admire me but say they would never be that brave. The questions that follow mostly boil down to...what's it like to be a missionary?
And, contrary to popular opinion, the living conditions or the food are not the hardest thing. There are two things that are the hardest. One is being away from ones you love. I am literally always away from ones I love. I love children in Peru, people in Ethiopia, my family and friends in the US, and I am soon going to love the people in Colombia. I cannot be in all of those places at once. So I am ALWAYS away from ones that I love.
The other thing that is the hardest part (and the best part when I think about it) is being on the edge all the time. For example, I do not take money or food granted. Having enough is always a bit of a miracle. I also do not have the comforts that others have. And I don't just mean a comfy bed or a nice toilet. I mean, I have chosen to always say yes to God. Whatever he asks. Having only a few people that can truly understand me, not just with language but also with cultural differences is never comfortable or fun. But what makes it one of the best parts is that I have to wholly and fully rely on God and connect with him, cling to him like he is my life line...because he is.
In August, I was on a short-term trip to Mexico. I knew that I was on the brink of God calling me to a new place. I didn't know if it was Mexico or somewhere else. One day, I was in the prayer room and I was drawing a prophetic picture. I started with a beautiful pasture with brilliant grass and a wonderful stream. A dirt path led to a bridge over the waters. On the other side of the river, though, I drew a forest fire. The path from the bridge disappeared into the fire. I knew that God was calling me to leave the easy and comfortable season of rest and go head first into a fire. I wrote on the bottom of the page, "I choose to walk straight into the fire...I trust what's on the other side is great!"
Shortly after that, God provided an opportunity to go to Colombia. I am sure I will write more of the details about how I chose to go to Colombia, but for this post, just know that God provided the door, the door to walk through to go to be a teacher in Colombia in a new Christian school for the next 2.5 years. I was on a scouting trip in October, a couple of months later. I was seeing the town with one of the missionaries I met. She took me on a sky tram to see the whole city from above. The city is built in a valley so it was like a bowl filled with lights. In that moment, I remembered a vision that I had had in 2015. It was a city with its lights shining. At that time, God told me that the light was the glory of God shining from the city. I thought God was talking about a city in Africa back when he gave me the word, but at that moment, I knew it was Medellin, Colombia. I was really excited and very sure that God had called me to this place in this time.
Since then, I have had some doubts. Some fear about not being good enough or not having enough or being miserable. The Lord recently settled some things in my heart. First he told me that I wasn't trusting him because if I was, I would know that he wouldn't call me to something I wasn't ready for or that he wouldn't provide for. He also told me to get out of his way. Meaning, cooperate with him but not let anxiety steal from me or cause me to micromanage every thing in my life and try to prevent anything that could go wrong.
He also reminded me of these two visions. He said, "Is it worth it? Walking through a fire for an entire city...of 3 million people by the way...to be filled with the glory of God?"
My response was, "Of course it is worth it." I understand what the Apostle Paul meant, his present suffering is only for a little while but it was worth it for the salvation and transformation of many sons and daughters (Liz's paraphrase). Do I want to walk through trials or hardships? Of course not. Many people have told me how awesome they think I am, a great example for others to follow. And while that is true, I do not want anyone to think that I wake up in the morning full of joy and go to bed every night still full of joy with no cares in the world. Maybe that will be true one day. But it isn't right now. One thing that Heidi Baker says really rings true, "If you don't quit, you win."
Is God's work worth discomfort? Is it worth being out on the edge? Is it worth embarking on something impossible? Is it worth sacrifice and suffering? What if it could transform an entire city? What if your yes could transform Ankeny, Iowa? What if your yes would affect laws in the entire state of Iowa? What if your yes would forever change the lives of the 25 people in your office? What if your yes would impact three generations in your family? Is it worth it? I am nothing special. I am just a yes say-er. Are you?
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